White Pants = No No

I went to Old Navy last week for their Clearance Extravaganza.  Let me tell you, it was insane.  Not as insane as my Kindergartners, but pretty close.  I got this awesome pair of white pants that fit me like a dream for $7.50.  Yes, you read that right.  Needless to say, I was very excited to wear them.....

The next day, I made one of the worst decisions of my life.  I was so excited about the pants that I literally changed my clothes right away in the morning.  Before I even brushed my teeth.  Or made my coffee.  That's how exciting these pants are.  This is what I overlooked: I had to go to school that day.  With five year olds.  That play with paint.  And wipe their ketchup on you when they give you hugs.  As soon as I left from my college class to school, I was made aware of this.  I looked down and realized that these pants were never going to be the same. 

I made it through lunch.  It was a wonder I did, too.  I handled the hugs like a pro.  I kneeled so that would hug my shoulders instead of my waist.  To the extra messy ones, I gave high fives.  Then came recess.  I figured I would hang out on the blacktop next to the jumpropers instead of play kickball like I normally do.  Then, something came up.  And when doesn't it? 

There was an emergency on the monkey bars.  Ricky was stuck.  His geled hair was sticking high above the bars as he yelled, "Misssssssssss Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!" I ran over to the monkey bars to the frantic child.  He was hanging from the bars and couldn't swing any further.  But he didn't want to let go.  It's not much of a fall, but for a five year old, the view from up there is probably comparable to us looking down as we're about to skydive. 

"Ricky, I'm right beneath you.  Just let go of the monkey bars and I'll catch you.  I promise."

His eyes got huge.  The other kids coaxed him.  "Come on, Ricky! You can do it!"

Finally, he let his hands drop.  I fulfilled my promise.  I caught him. I felt like a fireman saving a cat or something.  I was on top of the world! Until I looked down at my pants.  And realized that Ricky had just been playing in the mud.  Two boot prints were easily identified on my white pants.  This was during the first half hour of me being at school.

Not QUITE as bad as this poor soul

Some kids laughed as I walked down the hallway.  The teachers snickered.  The principal looked stunned.  They all understood; they'd all been there, done that.  However, I had a dinner date right after school.......

I raced to CVS to get a Tide-to-go pen to see if I could work a miracle.  Those were $3.79.  I saw a comparable product (CVS brand) for $1.99 and decided on that.  Let me tell you, readers, the extra two bucks would have been worth it.  This pen lessened the stain, but then instead of looking brown, it looked yellow.  No, I didn't pee my pants, but it looked that way. 

And of course, we had to go to Marie Catrib's in East Grand Rapids where rich, stylish parents feed their infants hummus.  I ordered a delicious "adult grilled cheese" and spilled the pepper sauce on my pants. 

Oh, the life of a Kindergarten teacher...

Signed,
Miss V.